My Daughter, a verbally abusive teacher, and my sanity…

This is how I was before all of this mess

My Daughter came to me several weeks ago after school, she was crying and said she needed to talk, thinking the worst thoughts in the world I called my husband into the living room with us.  She told us that her Teacher has been screaming at them and calling them names since the beginning of the School year, which for my kids was in July (year round school).  When I asked her what things, she said the Teacher called them “stupid” and “animals” and “dumb” amongst other things, and that she was so tired of being called those things, that the Teacher also screams at them for everything, always so angry.

The Mom in me wanted to run to the School and pay her a visit, how dare a Teacher, a person of trust, treat my child that way!?!?  Furious, hurt, upset, and felling every other emotion in the world, I eventually calmed down and just cried with my daughter, I couldn’t believe that I had put her in that place, that I had forced her so many days to go to School without even having the slightest idea of the hell she was going through!  I felt like the worst mother in the world.  The next day came and I sent her to school, I told her not to worry that I was going to go speak with the principal (another woman who has not helped kids with bullying issues).

The next day I was lost, I didn’t know what to do, do I show up to her class? Do I go to the Principal who ignores the fact that kids get bullied at school? do I go to the District and complain? I just was lost, cried all morning.  Then my daughter called me from school, asked me if I could go pick her up early from school, she hadn’t hung up the phone when I was already in the office (we live around the corner).  She told me that a substitute that they had complained too, had left the video camera on from the laptop, and was able to catch the teacher screaming at the kids and calling them names.  She took the video straight to the district and filed a complaint.  My Daughter cried with such relief, I cried with such anger!  The Principal never showed her face to a few parents that were looking for answers, instead on Monday there was a substitute teacher, a wonderful very young girl who all of the kids loved.  after 2 weeks, it was her time to go and the kids literally cried, they even made a petition for the principal to keep the substitute.  She gave them a new substitute teacher for the time being.  Right before the Fall break on the last week of Sept., I went to speak to the School Psychologist and asked her what I should do, she said that she thought the Principal had agreed to let the Teacher come back after Fall break, but that I as a parent could and should appeal the decision.  None of the other teachers in that School wanted her back.  It is a very small school, with 12 classrooms, but very close with the students.

Wednesday my Daughter came home from school and she asked to talk, she told me that she had cried today at school and that she needed to tell me why.  She said the Principal went inside of their class and told the kids that they had to talk to the abusive Teacher one at a time alone with her, and made them take turns.  WHAT!?!? The Principal MADE my Daughter go alone to a room with the Teacher who has verbally and mentally been abusing her?!?! SOMEONE HOLD ME BACK!!!
She said the Teacher told her she was returning on Monday.  No apology, no answers, nothing, so after the talk my Daughter went and cried to the Principal, to which she told my Daughter “calm down Kiera”  WTH?!?!?!?
I am at a loss, because though I do believe of giving people second chances, it suddenly wasn’t the same, it’s my daughter being verbally and mentally abused by a Teacher, who by the way, the Principal said “The only reason “Teacher” was acting that way was because she was going through a divorce so we gave her a leave of absence and she will be back on Monday”
another WHAT!?!? So the excuse for her behavior was that she was going through a divorce?

Now the secretary spoke to me on Thursday, gave me a packet, told me I have the right to complain and appeal to the district if I don’t want that Teacher to come back.  All of a sudden so many questions came to my mind…

  • Do I flat out appeal this stupid decision and never let that woman near my daughter again?!?!
  • Do I teach my daughter that people make mistakes and that we should give a second chance?
  • Do I beat the Teacher with a water balloon?
  • Do I put my Daughter in a bubble and never let her out?!?!
  • What if later she has a worst fight with her ex and something even worst happens to the kids?

    What would you do?

      This is how I feel now about my cubs after all of this…

13 thoughts on “My Daughter, a verbally abusive teacher, and my sanity…”

  1. Honestly, I would be the first person filling out that complaint, and asking the district to ban that teacher from your daughter’s school. That is SO wrong. I would also file a complaint about the principal. She is also in the wrong, excusing the teacher’s behavior, and turning a deaf ear to parents’ concerns, especially regarding the bullying and abuse.

    Further, if nothing is done, I would go to the media. I would tell them what is going on with the bullying, the abuse BY A TEACHER, and the fact that the principal is either ignoring or defending what is going on.

    I would create the biggest stink I could *if* no one listens. You and I both know…you work your way up the foodchain. If appealing to the principal doesn’t work (and it hasn’t), then you go to the school board, and after that you go to the media.

    I’m sorry that you and your daughter are having to deal with this. It is totally unacceptable.

  2. I find it horrible how schools are these days. Not only are the kids just a paycheck for the teachers, but they don’t care for the kids anymore. My kids get bullied at school and after many complaints, nothing gets done. THEN I find that they stopped teaching Reading in school. WHAT??? But instead they have an hour of Study Hall!! I don’t know about anyone else, but when I was in school, if you were sent to study hall it wasn’t a good thing, but today you get credit for it. Trust me I have done everything I can think of, even writing to the State School Superintendent, alas, it is an election year and I guess the kids don’t matter as much at the television commercials. Needless to say I didn’t get any response to any of the problem of this school. To top it all off, they “push” kids through the system. I’m not saying my child is dumb by any means, but he is LAZY. He has made it to the 7th grade with a 2.3 reading level. For those who may not know, that means 2nd grade, 3rd month reading level in the 7th grade. What are we to do???

  3. Thank you Laura for your comment 😉
    There are SO many more issues with that Principal regarding my special needs child, but I was never trying to start anything you know? This has definitely been the marble that filled the jar though.

  4. sorry that you are going through that Kim, I know what it feels like to be alone in the fight with the school. I have been having issues with staff for years through 2 different schools, it just never seems to get fixed. School system is not what it used to be huh? Well know that I am here if you ever want to talk, my email, facebook and twitter links are on my page 😉

  5. I would fill out the appeal/complaint info and submit it. Then I would sit down with my daughter and explain that I do believe people deserve second chances, however, what the teacher did was very serious, and she should not be coming back unless steps have been taken to make sure that it NEVER happens again.

    She should not be allowed back in the classroom until she’s had some sort of counseling and action taken. She should be allowed back afterwards on a probationary status, and the children should be given the option to go to a different class with a different teacher if they so choose.

    And quite frankly, if I didn’t like the response I had gotten from the principal, I’d be going to the superintendent about them as well. Bullying is all over the news right now, and for good reason. All they need is a group of parents to call a news crew and tell them what’s been going on at your school and quite a few people would be losing their jobs, not just that teacher. So they need to take it seriously.

    I am so sorry your daughter has had to be subjected to that, and that as a parent you’re having to help her through this tough time.

  6. Thanks mama, I sat her down and explained about the second chances, I told her not to worry, that
    I will do what I have too, to make sure she is safe. Monday I will fill out the packet and I guess she will not go to class unless they can place her in a different class. Thank you so much for the support 😉

  7. dear anonymous,
    I googled the issue, because I received that problem from other people as well, this is the same answer I got throughout the web, it’s the plug in for opera and FF.

    i had the same problem, too: couldn’t get the player to show up in “firefox”. however, it turns out that in my case, there was no “flash” plug-in at all. so, i did the following:

    1. opened up my “firefox” browser
    2. clicked on the “Tools” dropdown menu
    3. clicked on “Add-ons”
    4. clicked on the “Get extensions” hyperlink
    5. it took me to a page and i scrolled down until i found the “flash” plug-in
    6. clicked on that which took me to the “adobe flash” page
    7. downloaded the plug-in exclusively for “firefox, safari, opera, etc”
    8. did not even need to restart my computer
    9. opened up my webpage, and the “jw player” worked fine with my content

    i don’t know if other people are having other or different issues, but this is what solved my problem w/the missing “jw player” in my “firefox” browser (haven’t checked the “safari” browser on the work computer yet).

    all is well (for me) now.

    hope this helps at least some people…

  8. Superb blog post, I have book marked this internet site so ideally I’ll see much more on this subject in the foreseeable future!

  9. wondering how this person can continue to be a Teacher, this is beyond anything a child should have to endure. give her hugs for me!

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