New Years Eve in NY City, our 1st NYE in the NYC, lol. As I had planned to initially be in Time Square for NYE 2011, we decided to spend it with the Family in Central Park. The Midnight Run, both of our aunts were running in the race so the entire Family met up there to support.
It was an amazing thing to see Families running together, celebrating the new year, and most of all; it was amazing to be there with my babies, to “shoo-away” the old yucky year that did us so wrong…
As the year 2011 drew to a close, I hugged my tween daughter extra tight, midnight hit and the fireworks in NYC hit in full effect
… just as fast flowed our tears. My Daughter seemed to have the same emotions and thoughts as me.
See, though being a Military Family for 13 years, having so many high-risk pregnancies, premature births, deployments, emergencies, and everything else life has thrown at us; this year by far was the most challenging.
While the fireworks rang, and hundreds of people cheered, whistled, and kissed, my 11y.o Daughter and I just hugged and cried for what seemed an eternity.
No words needed for a while, just hugs, sobs, “I love you’s” and what felt like a huge sense of relief to see the year end, the year that tossed us around like an angry tornado; the year that almost broke us. After we stopped hugging I told her how much I loved her, as she looked into my eyes, so full of relief and sadness, I assured her that THIS was going to be OUR year, THIS 2012 was going to be OUR turn to make it through, OUR YEAR TO ROCK IT OUT!!!
She giggled with her eyes filled with tears and said “oh mommy, you’re always making me laugh”
“that’s my job baby” I said to her, as I felt like I was breaking inside.
See, I don’t know if I believed those words myself, could this year full of chaos finally be over?
could this new year really be our time to make it out of this dark hole we feel we are in?
Could 2010 really be full of all the wishes I have for my babies, or is it just one more day in a calendar? Am I setting myself up in putting so much hope into this new year? I hope not, it seems all I have these days to run on is hope and the smiles of my babies.
- The turmoil of 2011 began way before that year even came to be, with me caring for my grandfather since the year before, and all of the nonsense of his children, it drove me to have a minor stroke in January…
- in February I almost physically lost my husband to PTSD and he was in the hospital for a month, though I know I had already lost him 6 years earlier to that damn PTSD and all of her issues…
- in March and April we worked hard with adjusting to him re-adjusting with things he learned in therapy and implementing them at home; we also had the hardest time with our 7yo and his medication’s side effects for adhd and odd…
- May and June we tried to kick everything into gear since my husband’s last day in the Navy came closer.
On June 2nd, it was my husband’s birthday, our baby graduated Kindergarten, our oldest graduated High School; and it was our last day as a Military Family.
- The next day I saw my husband hit the job search in full force, entering between 10-20 online applications a day; everyday…
- July came and still no job…
- August came and still no job, after living off of the severance pay, it was decided that the best thing to do was to move in with my husband’s Family in NY until we got on our feet. The kids nad I were devastated. We packed, planned our route and set off into the unknown…
- September came while we were driving from Cali-NY. We arrived in NY a few days after the earthquake and Hurricane Irene, could have possibly been a warning sign lol.
- October my husband is burning himself out by still entering so many applications a day, M-F.
- November was just as hard, still no job, no place of our own. The kids are showing more and more their desires to go “back home”.
- December was by far the hardest, still no job, no home of our own to place a tree, no money for gifts, no programs I was able to sign up for like prior years, and hearing the kids only ask Santa for their pets we HAD to leave behind in California was THE HARDEST! Christmas we were blessed to be with Family, but it was bittersweet for us all. Our 11yo seems to be struggling with it the most.
Yes there have been job offers and interviews, either he is over qualified, over seas, or the positions are in states where we have no way of even having a chance to move to without an established income.
January seems full of hope for me and mine, job interviews the first week of Jan. seems promising, so please send us some Prayers 😉
All in all I am Blesses to have my Family, and a roof over our heads, I am grateful for that of course, I just hurt as much as our babies for our own little piece of the world, for some sense of normalcy, some sense of belonging and a place we can call home, our own home… no matter how small 😉
here are a few of our NYE2011 & NYD2012 moments 😉
|Our Aunts 😉|
|HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!|
|Daddy comforting my emotional tween 😉|
|a heart of fire 😉|
|1/4 of the Family 😉|
|she LOVES her cousin 😉|
|we caught The Flash!!!|
17 thoughts on “From Ca-NY, from 2011-2012, from smiles to tears… to high hopes!!!”
I am so glad to see that you blogged again. I havbe missed your spunk and your writing and adventures. Though I thought you were going to be in Time Square for NY’s eve, I am glad that you were out and with your Family. Kare-bear will be okay, she will soon be such a happy and spunky tween, that you won’;t even remember this sadness you are all going through.
Love you all and hope to see you soon.
Sending love and light your way.
Oh Lily, I so wish that this year is finally your year, I have kept my fingers crossed for you guys. I know that you have been contemplating shutting down your blog as well, due to all of this you are dealing with, but I want to encourage you to keep it up, if for nothing else than to show the world what an amazingly strong person you are.
Sending wishes for a prosperous year for you and your family, as well as love and warmth. I miss you, and hope to catch up soon!
my heart has cried for you so many times, i am hoping so much that this new year is only filled with wonderful things for your family. if anyplace can make dreams come true, it’s new york right!
First, we were looking in every shot for you and your family on NYE, but glad to see you spent it with family!
Second, do what you feel in your heart you can do. I started blogging because I needed somewhere to vent. Perhaps you can post your thoughts once a week or so and let your readers (you know, those of us in Texas) keep up with you and your amazing family!
Plus, if you need any help, guest posts, etc, I am sure that I am not the only one that will offer to fill in the gap.
Sending love and lots of prayers and hugs from my family to yours! Love ya, Girlie! <3
Have faith Lily! It will get better! It always does! Stay strong, be YOU, and this turmoil will END! I will send prayers, sparkles, and everything else I can muster to you and yours. We go through rough times (and yours have been horribly significant) but you are strong, and you WILL get through this! Love to you my friend!
I am wishing you all the best for 2012 may it be your year!
MY SWEET LITTLE GIRL, I SAW YOU GROW UP AS SUCH A HAPPY LITTLE GIRL, IT PAINS ME TO SEE SUCH SADNESS IN YOUR HEART. I KNOW THAT 2012 WILL BRING BETTER THINGS FOR YOUR FAMILY, BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT IF NEW YORK DOESN’T WORK OUT FOR YOU; THERE IS ALWAYS A PLACE FOR YOU IN OUR HOME. WOULDN’T THAT BE SOMETHING TO SEE YOUR LITTLE ONES GROW UP ON THE STREET YOU GREW UP IN?
ALWAYS HUGGING YOU MY DEAR.
Although I recently met you, I feel I have known you for a long time. You have a very sweet soul and I just absolutely love speaking with you. I hear all about your dreams and wishes and I just know in my heart that they will all come true for you one day. Now remember, God knows when the perfect time is for everything, so though you might be tired of these “tests”, he might just be building up your strength.
hug the babies for me.
2011 was, indeed, a less than spectacular year. Here’s to 2012 having much more to offer all of us!
Thank you SO much for your comments, love, support, and wishes 😉
I love you for always being there for me 😉
Hugs all around!!!!!!!!!!
hey girlie, i met you at the va christmas event; finally remembered to stop by. wow, 2011 was definitely your year to be tested. glad to see you passed with flying colors hun. i know things will get better for you all, they have too. haven’t you seen the beautiful rainbows after the ugliest of storms?
always keeping you all in our prayers.
Oh I hope that this will be the year for you and your family – sending lots of new job vibes and best wishes your way and keeping my fingers crossed that the right job will come along soon! I’m not all that sad to see 2011 come to an end either, so hoping that 2012 is a better year for both of us. 🙂
I pray that you all get what you need this year. I think all any of us want is enough. Not too much, just enough for what our families need.
This year WILL be great, you just have to believe. Faith and hope are the most important things. If you have them both, you can make them manifest into the real world. I have always believed this. Keep praying, have patience, love unconditionally and see every setback as a lesson God needs you to learn.
WHAT’S UP GIRL, IT’S GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN, I AM GLAD YOU BLOGGED AGAIN. I HOPE THAT YOU DO LISTEN TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND CONTINUE TO BLOG. I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR POSTS FROM YOUR FAMILY TIMES TO YOUR REVIEWS AND CONTESTS, I MISS THOSE. HOPEFULLY YOU WILL COME BACK EVEN STRONGER THAN BEFORE.
YOU KNOW WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU OUT HERE IN CALIFORNIA.
hoping for so many great things for you and your family this new year.
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