Rebuilding our Lives

Rebuilding our lives, that’s definitely something I never thought I’d have to write about.  Yet, it’s the daily topic in our lives at the moment.  This week makes a month since that terrible week in which we lost everything.

>Read about it here<
rebuilding our lives

We have tried to cope as best we can. The kids and I seem to have cabin fever, but we try to manage. It seems that when the kids are at school, and the Husband is at work, that my emotions get the best of me. I am alone in the room, alone with my thoughts and my heart. The tears flow like the Niagra falls; and the feeling of failure sets in.

Today I realized that Christmas will be here in FIVE WEEKS, I had not cried this hard since the night I was watching our house go up in flames. Christmas, for ALL kids is supposed to be such a magical time; and it breaks my heart to see that my kids will be spending Christmas in a hotel.
Don’t get me wrong, I AM grateful that we have this luxury as opposed to living in a shelter or in a car; but it doesn’t mean it’s got to be easy on my heart.

On Monday, I was able to go inside the house for the first time since the fire, it was so emotional. The front room was where the fire started. It was also the room that had our “front room couches” in, the room that held the bikes the kids got for Christmas last year, the room that held all of our shoes, the kids outside toys, backpacks, and sports equipment. It was also the room that had the fooseball table that somehow held our backpacks and electronics. My iPad, 3 laptops, a camera; so many memories in them…
all gone.

My heart feels so empty and full at the same time, happy and sad; like if this was a song I was living. A dream I wish I could wake up from.  I have done everything I have been told to do: Go to Social Services, go to Churches, go to this Veteran’s organization, or that Veteran’s organization, go to community outreach programs, go here and there and stand on your head…
I’ve done it all and I have been turned away from every single one.
We are either too late for Holiday programs, or do not “permanently” live in this or that area, or we make $32 over the maximum allowed income for even emergency social services.  I am not at all feeling entitled, but I thought emergency services were exactly that; emergencies.  But no, all other guidelines apply, and we were rejected from every single one.

The helplessness as a Mother & Father to see our kids so sad about not being able to decorate for Christmas, about not being able to see their friends, or stay for after-school programs, or hear how much they miss their toys that they lost in the fire, or buy a real Christmas tree, or hear them ask is Santa visits hotels on Christmas.
Oh my gosh, to hear the bickering of being in such closed quarters, to see the kids having to sleep on a pull out couch and to feel for myself how much pain you wake up in the next morning from sleeping on such thing, lol.
To not be able to find a house immediately to rent because we don’t have the money for 1st/last month rent, deposit, broker fee; to not be able to just go buy a house because a down payment is no where to be reached; even if we do have the option of using a VA loan.

Our 14 y.o. Daughter made this list for us, and asked if at all possible, if we could please keep her in the same school because through all of the schools she had been to because of Daddy’s Military career; this was the first time she had ever met REAL FRIENDS… and the first time she had ever been to a school for a second year in a row.  Which obviously has made things a bit more difficult because we only have a certain area we can live in; but we owe her that much.  This little girl has literally started her life 7 times over for us.

Those feelings, those things, this situation I know is something we never thought we would have to go through; but we are here, and though I keep telling myself that I am grateful that we are all alive and safe (because I AM); it’s still so hard to see the silver lining.  Being humbled, being pride-less, being in a position where you are begging places to help you with charitable programs and being turned away is so hard, harder on my heart than anything else.

Friends have been trying to help by sharing our story,  Praying, suggesting programs were I should turn too, but sadly; we still need help; a lot of help.
So please, if you can; share our story.  
Share it through your Social Media channels, email it to your friends, or Family or co-workers and ask if they could please help share it; I am so hopeful that maybe one person will see it and be able to help us more than the next.  Maybe one person will share it with someone who has a life-line we can use.  Yes, I’m desperate, I am desperate because this situation has taken a toll on all of us, and because I am trying to do as much as I can possibly do in hopes that I can help give my children a magical Christmas.

Below are ALL of the places friends have suggested I sign up for
Please, if all you can help with is a dollar or a Prayer, we TRULY appreciate it from the bottom of our hearts.

I received a few emails that people did not want to use fundly, gofundme, or the paypal donate button because they take a fee from the donation; so I was asked to please give my paypal address so the money can be gifted to us. I appreciate the support with all my heart, the paypal address is:

[email protected]

Or paypal donate is:




Update: 11/17
I was asked to place this link below so people can help write to Ellen, she helps people who desperately need a car; and we desperately NEED one 😉
If you could PLEASE take a few minutes to tell her why you think we need one I would greatly appreciate it!!! 😉
You can include the link to our post in the submission so she can read our story… please 😉

Here are 2 more updates since then:

Our week: our car was totaled, our house broken into, our house caught on fire

Rising From the Ashes

56 thoughts on “Rebuilding our Lives”

  1. I will always pray for your family and hope for the best. I would really love to donate but i don’t have a paypal account. I can help by sharing and praying .. may God bless your family and you 🙂

  2. This has really touched my heart this morning. I shared and made a donation of what I could give. But I sure will help spread the word. This could happen to anyone at any time. Lets help one another.

  3. My heart breaks for you & your family. I do not even pretend to know what you are going through. I have never been in such a situation, and I would never wish it upon anyone. I do not know why your family has to go through this .. But I pray for you. I pray that God would place an unspeakable joy & warmth in you and the hearts of your family this Christmas. That you would be taken care of and that things would work out in your favor .. in ways that you cannot comprehend, because they come from God alone. I pray that your children would wake up on Christmas morning with happiness in their eyes, and thankfulness for parents who love them dearly. I pray for you.

  4. I think you are so brave and courageous in your time of need. The worst is looking at the kids wishing you could do more for them. Do you have family around? As soon as I get paid (I get paid monthly) I will help with the gofundme drive. I will keep sharing this and other posts. You will be back on your feet before you know it!

  5. I’m so sorry your family is going through this. I will keep you guys in my prayers! I will share with friends and family!

  6. I wish I could do more, I’m afraid all I can do is share in hopes that someone more fortunate that reads this can donate. They say that God never puts more on our plate than we can deal with, sometimes my own faith is tested. This is one of those times, I Ask why things like this happen. I have yet to ever be answered.

  7. How sad. I cannot imagine what you must be going through. I came here from the Canon EOS Rebel to leave a comment and saw this and feel guilty now.

  8. Much love and lots of prayers…I will say from despair comes strength, if the hearts are open to the giving of others…and your hearts are definitely in the right place!

  9. I would be so happy to write to Ellen for you! I just never did anything like this before, when they ask for name and address, etc. would that by my address? And for the web link and photo would it be from this page?

  10. thank you so much Jennifer, I appreciate you so much for writing to Ellen on our behalf. yes, as information you enter yours, and link and phono you may use mine as well.
    thank you again so much 😉

  11. You are in our thoughts and prayers. You may find that this will be a holiday season that will be fondly remembered (in a few years 🙂 ) Your family is together and safe. Material this will be replaced. Hang tough~ smile. This too, shall pass.

  12. I too have endured many break-ins of my house and garage until I had to let it go into foreclosure and moving several states away to start a new life. It is still hard to overcome that part of your file, but I assure you it does get better!

  13. I’m so sorry for your loss, but always remember that God will never forsake you. Many might have turned away, but God will take and guide you instead. I’ll be praying for you and your family. God bless.

  14. I am SO sorry Jennifer, my blog has a right click option disabled and since I am not a techie person I have no idea how to turn it off lol. I found out that if you hold down ctrl and click on the picture it will open it in another window and then you can save it. thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for sharing, i truly do appreciate your help!!!!!!

  15. Hi there, I’m having trouble saving a photo from your blog. For the Ellen submission, they ask for a photo but when I right click to save one, I don’t get that option, any advice?

  16. I feel so bad for you I have had some really really bad luck in the last month, won’t go into it, lets just say I am right with you, I try to stay postive not get down, I no how hard it is. I guess we can say God never gives us more then we can handle but it sure is hard to look at it that way sometimes, I hope that things get better for you, and things will I am sure of it, We all have hard times, and things can only go up. At some point you will look back and think that time made us stronger, I no it does not seem like it now, as I am in the same shoes, and Things like giveaways and these blogs make me feel better as a great way to connect to people, and remind myself there are good people in the world and not all bad. So keep your head up, take care of your baby’s and try to stay strong. God Bless.

  17. Wow, what a terrible situation. I have prayed for you and will add you to our prayer chain at church. It would be hard to recover from one of those terrible scenarios, let alone three of them all at once. I will keep you in my heart.

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