Today is my surgery & I will be gone for a bit…

My surgery was postponed to June 14th Tues. due to my blood pressure lol 😉
I know I should be asleep right now, resting on the nice little pillow of valium the Doc prescribed for me.  He thought it would calm me down enough do I could sleep the night before my surgery, HA!

Not sure yet if the joke is on him or on me, but I’m up, awake, scared, excited and wired!!! 😉  Not on valium silly, I never even took it, I am just wide awake with an energy I haven’t had in months.  What’s my surgery about you ask? 

Well being that it’s about to be 1am and I have to be up at 6am i won’t tell you the whole story tonight, but it goes back over 15 years ago, an abusive dentist, fear of a dentist, being attacked 11 years ago; and it has all brought me to tonight.

Short version, I have not smiled in over 10 years, not physically at least, because inside I am a bubble of smiles 😉
I have been to ashamed to smile in public because ((up above where I said I was attacked 11 yrs ago)) the guy knocked out my front tooth, so from then on I smiled with my lips shut, spoke with my mouth as closed as I could, but today I loose that!!!

Today I go into surgery and EVERYTHING from my jaw to my teeth will be fixed, fixed!!! 100% fully fixed and pretty 😉 
Want to know something? I never had a wedding and 90% of that was because I couldn’t bear having a wedding because I didn’t want people to see me smile. 
Finally!!! Finally I will smile, I won’t be afraid to meet people, I will accept invitations by friends to hang out, I will accept invitations to conferences, because I will NO LONGER be afraid to smile in public 😉

Words can not express the anticipation and all of the other feelings I have going on inside.
Want to know a secret?!?!  Yesterday I stood in front of the mirror and practiced smiling 😉  for the 1st time in years I practiced smiling, my face is so sore from all of the giggling I was doing lol.  I hope that this will help me loose that fear of being infront of a camera, because I can’t wait to show off my smile to you all 😉

All of that being said, I might not be around this week, it all depends on how the pain management goes, but know that I will be thinking of you all, and i love you guys!!!! 😉

10 thoughts on “Today is my surgery & I will be gone for a bit…”

  1. OHMIGOD!!! That is so sad. 🙁 I am SO happy you’re having this fixed! How wonderful for you! Good luck! I hope this begins a wonderful new chapter in your life full of smiles.

  2. I, for one, cannot wait to see the first photo you post of your smile!! Good luck and all that jazz for the procedure itself. 🙂

  3. Thank you SO much my loves!!! 😉

    surgery has been postponed til next Tuesday, so on Monday we can begin the nervous dance again lol 😉

Comments are closed.